Boundaries are a source of endless confusion and mystery for people. Many clients come to counselling not understanding what healthy boundaries are, or how to protect them when there is resistance from family, friends, or employers. (This happens a lot, by the way.) I work with clients who often do not believe they have the right to say no in relationships and feel responsible for the emotions of others, which creates an unhealthy pattern that can expand over time causing resentment, exhaustion and guilt.
I am in the middle of reading Nedra Glover Tawwab’s new book “Drama Free: A guide to managing unhealthy relationships” (2023) and she provides concise and practical information about what dysfunction in relationships looks like, the behaviours that maintain it and how to break those patterns while protecting yourself and your values as you do.
Nedra echoes the late Viktor Frankl loudly and clearly as she consistently affirms that we cannot change others so we must change ourselves. This book is a first step in that complicated but necessary process and sometimes, we need all the help we can get. Thank goodness Nedra is here.
Glover-Tawwab, N. (2023). “Drama Free: A guide to managing unhealthy relationships”, Tarcher/Perigee, an imprint of Penguin Random House LLC.
Things can get better. Talking helps.
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